Is it our human nature to want a challenge in life? Is that our emotional craving? Does it make us thrive? Give us a purpose or motivation? If so, is this also applied when dating and relationships? Why is that when someone gives us all that we want and treats us the way we want we are not satisfied. And when someone doesn’t give their all and treats you as if your existence is unimportant you crave to want to be more for them? Is this because our heart is being challenge? Is it?
So, continuing on from the last post:
He puts me in a cab; gives me $50, I don’t even live that far lol. I get home and we’re texting and I asked him, Did we just really make out in the bathroom, and he’s like yes and it was very nice. The next day, I’m remembering it in bits and pieces but I just couldn’t believe it. That probably was the most 2o year old thing I ever did lol.
We had talked about meeting up Sunday to get to talk more and we did. He explained his situation and the divorce. Not going in to it all but he says it over and he’s trying be amicable about it with her. I asked lots of questions and found out a lot. Like, um, he’d been with her for almost 12 years, since college. Like 12 years. I asked him if he thought about being single before he just got into something else. He told me I was his only romantic interest and he’s not the single and play around type. I asked what his parent thoughts, I found out half our job went to wedding. A bunch of things. I told him I needed to process all of this. Cause I mean it is a lot. Like he was married, had a home. That’s serious baggage. I thought I had baggage. I feel like this is such a grown up issue lol.
We spent the rest of the day just talking and getting to know each other more and it was great. We have a lot in common. We knew that before but it was like damn.
The week after (last week) we had lunch a few times together and went to the comic book store.
Thursday was my one year at my job and when I got to work he left crumbs cupcakes on my desk and a homemade card. I couldn’t stop smiling. Like this dude is everything I ever dreamed of. Sweet, sincere, caring. The only thing that makes me not wanna get to close is the fact that he is still married. Like that’s a major factor. I just don’t wanna do that for the small chance that I do fall hard and he tells me him and his wife are gonna work it out. I’m still trying figure it all out. I haven’t kissed him since then. Starting from square one, even though my friends said I should. His best friend, my friend, tells me he really really likes me. Like he’s so much more happy now. He smiles when he talks about me. We talk on the phone for hours. Ugh, so good. But still so married. Smh.
Boy do I have a lot to tell you guys.
First update, the boy I told I liked and went out with on that one date NEVER followed back up with me. It’s whatever. I’m over it. Sucks ’cause he was pretty awesome. Annnyywhhooo.
Now, the real low down. Remember previously I was telling you guys about these guys at work: one was the GORGEOUS, well dressed man that I could never speak to but when I did, found out he had a girlfriend and the other was they guy I thought liked me and gives me all the cool stuff but found out he was married. Yeah, sounds familiar? Cool.
So last friday, I went out with a bunch of co-workers for this little gathering. Wait, wait. Rewind. So a week prior, my co worker tells me that a guy at the job likes me. She tells me we never spoke but she says that he said he thinks I’m attractive and from the look of my desk (pictures and stuff) that we have a lot in common. So now I’m a little paranoid trying to figure out who this guy is. She would ask me a question here and there but never revealed it. Later on she told me that he would be at the gathering. Back to friday now. I get cute, wearing heels and shit. We all started playing this questions game (had to pick a random question in a bucket, take a shot for every one you didn’t answer or eat a bunch of m&ms, remember this!! Also let’s put out some names. We will call tall dark and steamy Jay and Mr. Nice Guy Oliver.) So at the party Jay sits next to me. I’m melting inside. With the couple drinks I have in me we speak and stuff. Heaven. So yeah, we start playing the game and I realize that there was only one guy there I never spoke to. I started wondering if it was him.
Time goes on. One of my questions was kiss either one guy or Oliver. I kiss Oliver on the cheek. Minutes later Jay is dared to show everyone his favorite sex position. Now I got enough liquid courage in me and I volunteer to be demonstrated on. Lorrddddd. He told me wrap my arm arounds his neck and then he picked me up in the air and my foot swung and kicked over the m&ms lol. I was in heaven, I didn’t even care. Also, earlier he had to strip so I was already riled up from then but yeah. Lorrrddd. The game went on and got better and better.
We switched lounges. Some people left. On our way there, my friend pulls me to the side to ask who I thought it was. I told her I thought it was the one guy I didn’t know. WRONG! Wanna know who it was? Oliver. Yes, married Oliver. Apparently him and his wife are divorcing. This entire time I thought he liked me but just never said so because he was MARRIED. For months he has been diggin on me and I told myself he wasn’t. I felt crazy.
We get to the next spot and me and him are dancing. Dancing lead to friggin’ kissing. Now, I will not lie to my Bloggers, I NEVER DO ANYTHING LIKE THIS! From there we started talking more about whatever and at that point liquor smacked me and I didn’t hear any more words. I asked him to go to the bathroom with me and we made out in the 3 by 3 room. I mean MADDDEEE OUTTT. Throwing each other on the walls and toliet. Very touchy feely. Then we walked out like nothing happened. Not too long after, he helped me out my heels and into boots and put me into a cab.
There is more to the story. Will tell ya later =)
(Scandal is on =))
This Valentine’s Day I’m pretty excited. After work I plan on spending the entire evening by myself. This year it falls on a Friday. I am going to stay at work late and then go to the great bar by my job. The bartenders are gorgeous. I am going to have a few nice drinks, have a conversation, and probably work on my story. Afterwards I am going to the movies BY MYSELF and see the new Kevin Hart and Michael Ealy movie About Last Night. I was even thinking about getting a massage but maybe the next day. But yeah, I’m actually excited about this day. I want to find a bad ass outfit, preferably all black with a nice pink lip. I will be my own great Valentine.
Some history: I’m not a fan on Valentine’s Day at all. This will be my 24th, 10th, if you count from the age I started talking to guys, Valentine with out a date or anything romantic. I wouldn’t say I’m bitter but I won’t argue if someone said I was. I did have one experience. I dated this guy around February and we had “plans.” I had this nice set up at my house, food, champagne, candy, and I even got him a custom giants build a bear. On his way to me, he claimed he was attacked by a homeless man and had to fight him off with my roses -_____-. The fact that I believed him makes me feel even worse writing this. But yeah, that was my only Valentine experience. I’m boyfriendless now and trying find someone on match.com. Definitely won’t be in time for Valentine’s. I know there are some guys I could call if I really wanted to do something but why? I don’t like em in that way. I love myself so I’ll treat myself.
Don’t get all sentimental and proud for me. Most likely, I’ll end up crying alone that night. High, high chance. But whatever. I’m still gonna have a eventful night.
No Love in Harlem.
So, of course you guys know, I don’t have a boyfriend. So when I want to go out, see a movie, something, I look to my best friends to do that with. Some times I look to my other limited single friends because my go to friends are already engaged with their long term boyfriends. Cool. Sometimes, I try to plan things with everyone and everyone’s wire cross and I just get a headache. Anywho, today I just wrote my friend and asked if she wanted to go see the new movie The Awkward Moment. She said sure cool, I invited my other friend. She said sure, even suggested we go to dinner too. However, seconds later she said she was going to this party and she had invited me before hand so I said sure and we can go to the movie Saturday. Now, she says what’s she’s been saying for the past couple months: “I don’t do saturdays.” I didn’t answer, only because I didn’t want to come off angry, even though I was annoyed. Hours later she writes back, “how about wednesday, thursday?” I said no. She said she feels that I’m giving her no choice. I told her that I feel like she limited the friendship. She only wants to hang on weekdays after, well shit, 6pm when she finishes her never ending work, mostly on Wednesday, Thursday, and Fridays??!! Am I wrong? Seriously? Am I’m not understanding to the fact she doesn’t want to commute on weekends? If I am…then I’ll wait the extra half a week for when it’s better for her….
No Love in Harlem.
So I contacted him again. It was a little text last week. All I said was hey, hope you didn’t forget about helping me with my pool game. Blah blah. He wrote back saying he got me and then that short short convo was stretched out across two days till it fizzled out. I put the ball back in his court and he’s still on a timeout. I’m gonna leave it alone. This time I’m really leaving it in his court before I become some obsessive freak. I’m cool with that. Again I’m proud that I made the move to even speak to him. The rest is in his and the universe’s hands.
However I’m not gonna wait around. I’ve been keeping my eyes open. Also, yesterday I bought a groupon for match.com. It’s for a free month. Yeah it’s a short time window but I’m gonna hope for the best. 2014 is about making moves and this is a move way over due.
No Love in Harlem.
I waited a week and change for him to write me. Nothing. I’m not upset or sweating it. I know what it was from the moment he wrote me back. I knew that it would be a chance he wouldn’t initiate something. I wrote him about a half hour ago just saying I hope we do get together again soon. I’m letting the universe take control and not sweating it. I got this far. If you’d doesn’t pan out, I’ll know when to stop.
On a different note, I do need to find other guys. I feel so incredibly lonely and I shouldn’t have to feel this way. It’s very overwhelming. I try to talk to my friends about it but they can’t understand and it’s not there fault. We are just all in different boats, always have been. They can’t begin to understand the loneliness I feel because they never are. I got the pleasure of being that friend. Something I just gotta deal with. Doesn’t mean my life ends there. When I get the chances, I will seize every moment afforded to me.
Keeping Hope Alive,
No Love in Harlem.